Losing a parent changes everything. How do we learn to live without the ones who knew us before we even knew ourselves? The ones who raised us to be who we are today? It's an inevitable loss that most of us will experience at some point in our lives, but why is it still so hard to accept, even when we know it's coming? They protect us throughout life and we wish so bad we could do the same for them.
Guilt will find its way in
No one talks you about the guilt that comes with grief. All of the the "what ifs" and the "I should haves" hit so hard, even if there’s nothing we could have done. These moments will replay in your head, wondering if you could’ve said more, done more, been there more. Learning to forgive yourself is one of the hardest parts of grief.
Their loss doesn't hit us all at once
The moment we say our final goodbyes isn't always the hardest part. I think grief is gradual and it unfolds with every milestone that they are missing. As we grow through different stages of our lives, we see their loss in different ways. I don't think grief ever really has an end.
The world still goes on..even if we don't
One of the hardest realizations is that while our worlds have been shattered, everyone else’s life keeps moving forward. The world doesn’t stop to to mourn with us and sometimes, that can feel so isolating and lonely. There will be days when it feels like no one understands, because for them, life is normal, but for you, everything has changed.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve
..and no one should ever tell you how to grieve. Everyone is different. Everyone handles pain and sadness in a different way. Everyone has different circumstances. There is no handbook that we are given after a loss and it is something that we have to learn to live with in our own ways.
We reach for them..even long after they are gone
It is such a weird feeling...knowing they are gone but still feeling like they’re just a phone call away...just like they have always been. We still want to call them. We still want to tell them about our day. We still want to ask that for their advice. We still need them. Sometimes for those split seconds, we forget that they are gone and we pick up the phone to call them. That habit doesn’t go away just because they’re no longer here and it is so hard to get used to that.
We are the keepers of their memory and legacy
We become their storyteller. We are the ones who keep their memory alive, the ones who make sure that who they were doesn’t fade with time. We live for them when they no longer can. Be sure to live a life that would make them proud.
